DZ never met Kenny Everett. But Reg could quite easily be based on DZ. If I embark on a DIY project it's only a matter of time before blood is drawn. Only recently I've sustained injuries with such mundane items as a car door, and a pan of potatoes. My history is such that one of my offspring has commented that I have "more lives than a cat". In addition to numerous cuts, blows, burns & scalds I have, in my life electrocuted myself a good half a dozen times, including once in the mouth. Tip. If using your teeth as a wire stripper take the fucking plug out of the socket!
The only thing that has allowed him to get to this stage of life with nineteen remaining digits is that most power tools today are designed and manufactured with all sorts of safety devices, such that even the most inept and clumsy can usually get away with it.
But lately my facebook account has been filled with adverts for a new generation of power tools, seemingly designed to put the user in A & E. Power assisted pruning shears for example that look horribly easy to take off a finger with. Or garden trimmers, where the reasonably safe nylon cord is replaced by six steel razors rotating at high speed, with no guard. Note the advert states "Can cut through anything!" I bet they can. And note also the nice soft footwear being worn by the users, sometimes with their feet perilously close to the blades. And why anyone would want one of these is a mystery to me. I can't even imagine why it should be legal.
So as the spring and summer approach I predict that our A & E departments in Britain are going to start seeing an influx of injuries associated with these tools. People using the trimmer in the garden whilst wearing sandals on their feet. Others lopping off branches and getting distracted.
DZ, hopefully will not be one of the injured. Mrs DZ has made it quite clear that he is forbidden from acquiring one of these items. I think she has a point.
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