Tuesday, 24 April 2012

History taking

A recent conversation between DZ and a patient.

DZ...”Are you a smoker?”
Pt.....”No doctor, I’m not”
DZ...”Have you ever smoked?”
Pt.....”Yes, in the past”
DZ...”When did you last smoke”
PT.....”Oooh let me think, what day is it?”


  1. JD: Are you a smoker?
    Patient: No, I'm an ex-smoker.
    JD: When did you stop?
    Patient: Yesterday

    1. Now that rant goes against my beliefs in smoking! First of all, I obviously don't smoke! Second of all I smoke extra lights, which are 'not worth smoking' as the guy who sells them tells me. First of all I usually quit on Saturday mornings and don't smoke for MONTHS. Not 2 months, 11 or 12 or more months. Apparently strong will plus decreasing need. Second of all, we all know, I don't smoke. And first of all I like smoking, which is of course megastupid, but what one can do. It's my only destructive habit, without it I'm nothing! Ok, I'll make myself happy and quit.If that makes you happy. Third of all I poisoned myself once with nicotine patch. Patch contained nic in amounts next to nothing. I cut the damn patch in four and sticked one to my skin. And I poisoned myself. Seriously, extra lights are best I can do. Besides I'm quitting. Don't persecute me :-)))))) about it. I hate chewing gum with nicotine. Anyway I hate chewing gum. True, nic is highly adictive. I wonder haw many bottles of whisky are You hiding! Looks like plenty. And where. Seriously, I don't smoke often. I'm totally zen! Well, almost.

    2. :) :). Being draconian to your patients again. Might as well just buy them some cigs and be done with it. If they want to go end their lives prematurely, who are we to prevent this.