Internal Monologue

     Well, here we are on 6th October, the revised date of the rapture. Nothing has happened so far, but the faithful have specified a window of 2 days, 6/7, and, with the impact of time zones it will be another 48 hours before the realisation will hit that it's not going to happen.

So why exactly do people believe so intensely that they are somehow going to float up to heaven, where they anticipate smugly and gleefully watching those of us left behind all suffer and die?

     Could it all be that they're fucking arseholes who revel in the misfortune of others and are desperately hoping that it does happen?

     A common theme is that they believe it because they have been told, directly or indirectly, by god himself. People like Joshua Mhlakela, or Mike Johnson, who sincerely convey that god speaks to them. Wow! Why do they believe this?

     DZ has a theory. 

     Like the majority of people DZ experiences an internal monologue. In his every waking minute his mind is constantly engaged in thought. About anything and everything, from the sublime to the ridiculous, the banal to the profound. Questions, answers, reasoning, conclusions. It never stops. From the moment as a young child he was able to think. If he tries to blank out his mind, he finds himself thinking about not thinking.

     He had always assumed that everyone had this. But it also has never occurred to him that this experience was anything other than the workings of his own mind. Like having a dialogue with yourself inside your own head. Sometimes he would drift into articulating his thoughts. Yes. DZ occasionally finds himself talking to himself. No-one takes any notice these days. They all assume you're talking on the phone. 

     But he has never entertained the idea that these thoughts come from anywhere other than his own mind.

     But then he read that some people do not have this internal monologue. He was astounded. Do some people really walk around all day with nothing going on inside their head except their immediate experience. Is there really no little voice inside their head exploring the abstract, the potential, the theoretical, the fantastic, like a constant friend. 

     Apparently true.

     But once in a while, DZ postulates, a little voice does pop up in the empty mind of one of these people. This must come as a huge surprise. If your mind never normally talks to you it must be disconcerting when, rarely, it does. And it seems to DZ that it would be logical to assume that the voice has come from outside. Add in religious fervour and it's obvious what has happened. You've just had a message from god! This might account for the fact that, when god talks to these people, he invariably says what the empty head wants to hear. He lacks the experience and the insight to understand that it's just his own mind finally breaking through.

     I suppose I could have it the wrong way round. Perhaps god has always been trying to talk to me.